you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
