You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
