i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
