That's intense
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize