Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
