omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
