I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
