No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
