I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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