There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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