Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
