No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
