wanna go halves on a baby?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
