none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
