I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
