So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
this is an emotional support booty call
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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