some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
