a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
