Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
