Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize