So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize