Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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