The maid of honor just puked.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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