Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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