Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
