My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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