three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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