Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
