So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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