oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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