HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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