Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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