just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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