if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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