HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
