he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
her facebook's as public as her vagina
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
