I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just found a bag of teeth...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
