then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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