Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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