so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
