i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
