I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
