It's like God shit irony all over that family
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize