ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize