Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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