okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
