where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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