SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
