I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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