Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
