can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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