Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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