There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
