U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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