I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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