what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
