tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
