ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
