i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
