last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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