I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
