Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize